Five years ago I sat in the bar of a Chinese restaurant in Nottingham with my best friend and drunkenly created a guide for marking a meal or snack out of ten. It was pinned to our fridge for a while but there were a few personal references included so we had to remove if for visitors. I have no idea what happened to it but from time to time I remember that evening (which ended playing frisbee in said restaurant after it closed) and wish that I had kept it.
Ignoring the sentimental value, I actually think the idea was rather genius. Everyone has a different idea of what constitutes a five or an eight, so how can we make sense of someone else’s marks without a guide?! I often see that a reviewer has given a restaurant 7/10 and wonder what that means to the reviewer.
Therefore, it seemed to me that my first and most important blog post should include such a guide, which can be used for reference. That way we know we are all on the same page.
I shall try to remain loyal to the “original” guide but avoiding any in-jokes/references to personal experiences. Here goes:
1 = just the thought of it makes me feel physically sick.
2 = never to be repeated unless in an emergency situation.
3 = forced down as much as I could to be polite/because I hadn’t eaten for 5 hours.
4 = not dreadful but certainly not worth the calorie intake.
5 = unmemorable and functional.
6 = hints of tastiness hidden inside a mainly average offering.
7 = really tasty, would be very happy if I had made it myself.
8 = wham bam thank you mam, seconds please.
9 = so good that I am still thinking about it the following day.
10 = a taste of heaven, could not be faulted and I am still remembering it fondly weeks later.
That should do the job! Now I suppose I ought to write about some of the places that I have been to recently so I can get the guide in action (reviews of Murano and Bistro Bruno Loubet coming soon).
I am actually writing this on the plane to Singapore, so the guide will soon be going international!! In case you are interested my lunch courtesy of Singapore Airlines (I’m copying from the menu) was:
Marinated shrimp salad with melon – 6/10 sounds much more exciting than it actually was but the flavours were actually really nice and it was on a tasty herb salad.
Malai chicken tikka with spiced cauliflower and capsicum, coriander rice – 5/10 a good effort for plane food and the chicken breast was massive.
Cheese and crackers – 4/10 not very tasty and a little bit sweaty mild cheddar, still ate it though!
Ice cream – 5/10 a nice little tub of perfectly average ‘double chocolate’ ice-cream.
Bread roll and butter – 5/10 they had warmed the roll which was a nice touch – I have had worse efforts in actual restaurants
All in all it has been pretty good for an airline and I am very much looking forward to my oriental sticky rice with barbecue pork, black mushrooms and pak choi for breakfast!!